Making Your Offer Clear
There’s a fast-casual restaurant I walk by every day that has a sign in the window: Pick Any 3, Get 1 Free!
That sounds clear enough, right? But below the offer, they list what you can pick from:
– 1 dinner (grilled chicken, burger, ham-and-cheese sandwich)
– 3 large drinks (Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Dad’s Root Beer)
– 1 side dish (fries, corn on the cob, small salad)
And so I’m puzzled. It looks like I could pick 3 dinners and get one free, or 3 side dishes and get one free, or 2 dinners and 1 side dish and get one free (either a dinner or a side dish, I’m not sure which), or 2 side dishes and 1 dinner.
But suppose I wanted to add some drinks into the mix. Would I really have to order a set of 3 drinks, and 2 of something else (dinners or side dishes) to get a free dinner/side dish/drink?
And if I wanted to order all drinks, would I have to order 9 drinks (3 sets of 3) to get 1 drink free?
Confusion Prevents Action
I suppose all I would have to do is go inside the shop and ask what the deal is, but I’ve never done so because it doesn’t seem worth the trouble.
If you’re making an offer intended to entice a customer in, the customer shouldn’t be confused about what the offer actually is. It should, you know, entice the customer in.
Offers Need to Make Sense
And, I would argue, the offer needs to make sense. If I’m walking by and I’m hungry, a deal where I could get dinner, a side dish, and a drink PLUS one item free would sound like a good deal. But if I have to order dinner, a side dish, and 3 drinks, the offer stops making sense. What would I do with 3 drinks? Fountain drinks, with melting ice and fizzing going flat? I can’t really save them for tomorrow.
Similarly as editors, we should strive to make it clear what exactly our services are, how they’re delivered, and how much they cost. A potential client shouldn’t be confused about the difference between a copyedit and a developmental edit, nor should they be confused about which one comes first or what kind of budget they’ll need to work with you.
You might be surprised that what seems clear to you is not at all clear to potential clients. Make sure you ask a few friends and colleagues to review your marketing materials (including your website) to find out if there are any snags you’re not seeing.
